The Dementia Cry- I Want To Go Home
She gathered her purse. Made sure her hair was combed and checked her lipstick.
“Better hurry downstairs” Lilly thought to herself. “Sharon will be here soon to pick me up.” Though Lilly wasn’t quite sure where she was and why she was here, one thing was certain. She was ready to go home. “I’ve have been gone too long and John must be worried about me” She reminisced about her late husband.
So downstairs she came and she sat by the door. Though most of the staff simply passed her by every now and then someone would talk to her. They would ask what she was doing or who she was waiting for. When Lilly told them, her daughter was coming to take her home they tried to convince her that this was her home. But she knew better. And she wanted to go home.
Come And Join The Other Ladies
Sometimes the activity lady would try to get her to join in with the other residents. But Lilly needed to wait. She didn’t want to miss Sharon. After all it was time to go home. After an unsuccessful attempt to engage Lilly with the group, the activity director would give up. After all there was a building full of other residents who wanted to engage.
The Director Called Sharon
“Your mother does this every day. It doesn’t look good to have her just sitting there waiting when prospects come to visit. “He sounded irritated.
I want to go home!!
This is the cry of so many people with Dementia. Unfortunately, in many large facilities there are just not enough caregivers to be able to pay special attention to one. And sometimes home may not be where you think.
Someone with dementia may be trapped in a long ago past. Home may be where she was as a young mother or it could even be her childhood home.
And it’s not just the people who live in facilities who are affect by this driving need to just go home.
“Mom kept asking and insisting that I take her home. I tried to get her to understand that she was in her home. I had her look at all of her pictures on the walls, her furniture and nick-knacs to convince her she was home. But she wasn’t buying it. Finally, I asked her what the address was where she lived. The address she gave me was the house I grew up in. She had not lived there in over 30 years” ~Kay
Smaller Environments Offer Solutions.
Sharon ended up moving her mother to a small memory care home. There were only 8 residents and 2 caregivers. This meant Lilly received a lot more personalized attention. And since she was in a home not a facility it felt more comfortable.
Alzheimer's Certified Care Home
On top of that this home was Alzheimer’s certified. This meant the caregivers were specially trained to understand how to help someone with dementia live the best life possible. There were enough caregivers for the number of residents. This meant when Sharon’s Mom was having a difficult day there was someone who could take the time to comfort her.
Bob Demarco, a dementia expert and author stated it perfectly;
“I finally concluded over time that my mother was really looking for the comfort and security she experienced while living with her parents, and living in a safe secure place.”
When it is no longer possible for family to care for someone in their own home a small home environment can provide the care and comfort that is needed. The personalized attention, coupled with trained caregivers helps dementia patients to feel secure and comfortable in their environment. If becomes their home.
Pat Mack has been helping families make the right decisions to care for someone they love since 1997.
Email her today for more information.
Or Give us a call today and come for a tour.